“I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I didn’t know how to take care of my parents. I wanted the best for them, but I couldn’t figure it out.” — Cynthia Perthuis
Have you ever heard of a certified senior advisor? Would you even know what you needed or how to find one? You’re not alone if the answer is no — and there are clear steps you can take to get the right help at the right time.
We are Sue Ryan and Nancy Treaster. As caregivers for our loved ones with Alzheimer’s and other types of dementia, we understand how overwhelming it can be to recognize when something has changed and know where to turn next. We’re sharing insights from Cynthia Perthuis, principal owner of Senior Care Authority in Southwest Florida and a certified senior advisor, about finding, evaluating, and implementing solutions along the caregiving journey.
If you’re following along with the Navigating Dementia Caregiving Roadmap, this aligns with Step Eight. You can find the roadmap as a downloadable digital guide on the guides page of our website, The Caregiver’s Journey, and we’ve also created it as an interactive page where you can click directly into each step.
Let’s explore three essential tips for navigating this process — from recognizing when something is wrong, to finding the right help, to building a strategy that works for your whole family.
Tip 1: Evaluate Your Situation
The first step is simply paying attention — and trusting what you’re seeing.
The signs that something has changed with a loved one aren’t always dramatic. They can be subtle. For example:
- Meals that aren’t being prepared properly
- Hygiene that’s slipping
- Medication that isn’t being taken correctly
- Bills going unpaid — not because of finances, but because the task has become confusing or forgotten.
Cynthia shares a vivid example from her own family: arriving at Thanksgiving dinner to find her mother, an accomplished cook, had served warmed-up dressing with crunchy edges as the entire meal. Something was off — she couldn’t quite define it, but she knew.
Other signs to watch for include:
- Behavioral changes — Your loved one stops doing activities they used to enjoy, like bridge or golf, and starts telling you “everyone cheats.” Perhaps they have unexplained dings on the car and can’t account for them.
- Safety concerns — They’re driving when they shouldn’t be, getting lost, or being scammed by strangers.
- Financial changes — Bills are going unpaid, or money is being withdrawn from accounts in unusual patterns.
- Hygiene and self-care — They’re wearing the same clothes day after day or no longer bathing regularly.
- Medication issues — They say they’re taking their medication, but something doesn’t seem right. There are either still pills left when they should all be gone, or they are all gone before they should be.
The people noticing these changes aren’t always family members. It might be a neighbor, a financial planner, or someone at church who calls to say something seems wrong. These calls are important.
There’s also the emergency inflection point — a fall, a hospitalization, an infection that caused confusion or hallucinations. These moments make it unmistakably clear that things will not be the same going forward, and that it’s time to act.
The key is this: if something feels off, it probably is. You don’t need to be able to name it or define it perfectly before you reach out for help.
Tip 2: Reach Out for Help
Once you’ve recognized that something needs to change, the next challenge is figuring out who to call, and understanding the different types of help available to you.
Cynthia outlines three models of senior care support:
- Referral Services are a starting point. You provide your zip code, and the service connects you with providers in your area who may be able to help. This can be a good first step, but it’s more of a list than a personalized plan.
- Placement Services go a step further. If you’ve already decided your loved one needs to move into a care community, a placement service can help you identify specific options and narrow down your choices.
- Certified Senior Advisors take the broadest view. A certified senior advisor doesn’t just help you find a place, they help you figure out which of the many possible types of support your loved one actually needs.
Cynthia identifies 31 different types of professionals families may need throughout this journey. Some of these include:
- Daily money managers
- Elder law attorneys
- In-home hair and nail care
- Specialty programs like Rock Steady Boxing for Parkinson’s
- Even dog walkers – because sometimes the smallest detail makes the biggest difference in keeping a loved one comfortable and dignified.
One of the most valuable things a certified senior advisor brings is the ability to help families compare options on equal footing. Sue shares her own experience:
When I began researching care communities for my husband on my own, I quickly discovered that no two communities use the same financial model. I couldn’t make an apples-to-apples comparison. A senior care advisor cut through the confusion immediately.
A certified senior advisor can also help with family mediation — one of the most common and difficult challenges caregiving families face. Whether it’s disagreements between siblings, complicated family dynamics, or that familiar promise of “I’ll never put them somewhere.” a good advisor helps the whole family unit find what’s truly best — for the person being cared for, and for everyone involved.
As Cynthia explains:
We’re not putting anyone any place. We are going to help them find a place where they’re cared for and where they’re loved.
One more reason to work with an expert — an experienced advisor knows what questions to ask that aren’t on any list — and how to evaluate the answers honestly.
To find a certified senior advisor in your area, reach out to Cynthia directly at Senior Care Authority, or visit csa.us.
Tip 3: Create a Strategy
Finding the right expert is not the finish line — it’s the beginning of building a real plan. And the best plans start with understanding the whole person, not just their diagnosis.
When Cynthia begins working with a family, she wants to know everything:
- What the person did for a living.
- Where they grew up.
- What brings them joy.
- What their pet’s name is.
This information shapes every recommendation that follows and helps ensure the professionals involved can truly connect with and care for your loved one.
From here, a good strategy addresses three things: the where, the when, and the how.
- The “where” is the starting point — where will your loved one live and receive care? It’s worth identifying more than one option, because circumstances change. A community that’s perfect today may have new management or a waitlist six months from now.
- The “when” and the “how” can come later. You don’t have to resolve every logistical detail right away. Those things can be worked out. What matters is having the framework in place.
- Paying for care is one of the biggest worries families bring to this process. A good advisor will help you look for resources and funding options you may not have known existed — what Cynthia calls “hidden pockets of money.”
- A strategy for staying at home is also something an advisor can help you build. If your goal is to keep your loved one at home, the strategy needs to account for the unexpected: what happens if the primary caregiver is unavailable for an hour? A day? A week? Who steps in? Having answers to these questions before a crisis hits is what makes the difference between a plan and a wish.
Sue’s own caregiving journey illustrates this impactfully. She started — as many of us do — with the goal of keeping her loved ones at home. Through conversations with advisors and other experts, she and her family were able to keep her grandmother at home and extend the time her father stayed at home. With her husband, the conversations helped her see that her own health was part of the equation too — something she hadn’t been considering at all. Sue explains:
It really is important to have someone with you who can ask you the questions that you don’t know to ask.
Taking Action: You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone
Recognizing when something has changed, finding the right kind of help, and building a strategy — none of these are easy. But you don’t have to navigate them without support.
The sooner you reach out, the more options you’ll have. Trust what you’re observing. Take that first step:
- Make note of the specific changes you’ve been seeing in your loved one.
- Consider whether those changes represent something new — not just who they’ve always been.
- Reach out to a certified senior advisor who can help you understand your options and build a plan.
Have you worked with a senior care advisor or another type of elder care professional? What helped you most in evaluating your options or building a plan? Share your experiences in the comments below or on our Facebook or Instagram pages.
Using the number for this blog — 58, go to Thecaregiversjourney.org where you will find additional resources and information, including the Navigating Dementia Caregiving Roadmap associated with Step Eight. If you find this blog helpful, please share it with someone who might need it. Please follow us or subscribe to our updates. We appreciate it.
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